Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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