I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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