You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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