Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
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I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
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GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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