So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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