Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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