I seem to have left my pride at pride
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize