wrigley field is MILF paradise
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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