Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize