well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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