I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
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I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
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Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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