super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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