how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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