so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
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He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
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Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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