apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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