I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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