it was like fucking gandolphs beard
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize