The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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