Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize