So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize