how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
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We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
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A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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