a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We had to coat check the pizza.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Help. Why am I so naked?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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