Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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