So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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