You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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