I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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