Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
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They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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