Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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