The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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