a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize