come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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