He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize