Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
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I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
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For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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