Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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