just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
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