Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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