This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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