Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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