therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
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