you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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