i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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