my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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