this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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