my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
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I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
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