I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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