Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize