Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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