i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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