Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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