I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Dicks are not precious.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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